YouTube TV promised to be the digital messiah that would finally sever our abusive relationship with bloated cable bundles. Instead, it became the exact same thing, just with a slightly more modern interface and a monthly bill that makes your bank account weep. We traded the cable guy’s four-hour window of incompetence for a sleek app that still crashes right before the final drive of the game.

It is truly a marvel of modern branding that we call this innovation instead of just admitting we are paying for a DVR that lives in the cloud. - The average monthly price has climbed steadily from $35 to $73. - It includes the same regional sports networks that everyone pretends to watch but no one actually understands.

- It offers a 'multiview' feature so you can watch four disappointing games at once rather than just one. The real genius here is the psychological warfare used to keep subscribers locked in. By bundling just enough 'must-have' channels—mostly sports and local news—they ensure you stay tethered to the ecosystem.

You tell yourself you are a cord-cutter, yet you are effectively the same customer you were in 2012, just with a smarter remote and significantly less disposable income. Industry analysts will tell you this is about the evolution of media consumption. In reality, it is a masterclass in how to sell people their own convenience at a premium while stripping away the actual value of a la carte choices.

We wanted freedom, but we settled for a high-definition cage with a better search function. Is there anything more pathetic than bragging about your 'cord-cutting' prowess while paying nearly a hundred dollars a month for a service that still forces you to watch commercials for Medicare? Don't worry, the next major price hike is probably just around the corner to pay for their next original content flop.

Are you ready to see which channel gets dropped next just so they can justify adding a third shopping network you will never open?